Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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