marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
