All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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