covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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