so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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