Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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