he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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