if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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