the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
