She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
