It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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