She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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