I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
