I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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