so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think my mom watched the whole time
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
