Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
