Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
