i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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