if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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