i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
