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Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
