Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Come see our sink grown plant.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
