Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize