I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize