He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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