New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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