I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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