What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's blow job season.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
