You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
