theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
