New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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