Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
from now on my penis is your penis
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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