P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
