I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
