Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
