im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
