This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
