Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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