I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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