so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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