but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
