can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
