Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
