She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
