Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
