We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
NoShamevember. You game?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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