We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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