...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
They have beer where we have blood.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
