Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
