The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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