my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
