So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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