So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
