Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
