nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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