I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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