Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
