Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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