how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
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