FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
