I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
