Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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