Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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