he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
