May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
