guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
