Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
