she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
