And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
