Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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