awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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