Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
